When I was in junior high and high school, I had crushes on boys who might have known I existed, but I’m pretty sure they didn’t care unless it was to copy off of my paper in math class. I was strictly forbidden to date until I was 16, which ended up working out fine since no one was asking anyway.
Earlier than boys drew my attention, though, I started having crushes on girls. Before you get excited that you’re about to read a tantalizing sexual expose, I’ll point out that my first girl crush was on my kindergarten school bus driver because she had really pretty red hair.
Later, there were girls who I met and thought, I want to be just like her. Amy was the prettiest girl in 6th grade, and the boy I liked in 7th grade liked her, so I wanted to be around her, dress like her, be her BFF. Though I cringe to admit it, I wanted to be like the high school cheerleaders, even though I was destined instead to be the nerdy girl who couldn’t do a cartwheel.
It didn’t stop there. When I started working, I thought the sun rose and set on my first “real job” boss – Libby, who was smart and funny and cute. She raced sailboats on the weekends and could drink any of the guys under the table. I never got good at either, and instead had a very bad experience trying to combine bourbon and Coke with a sailboat…
Today, I still have girl crushes. I remember when I first started thinking strong is the new beautiful. I had recently been diagnosed with MS and began practicing yoga daily. I bought what I still think is the best yoga DVD of all time. There’s a section on the video where Shiva Rea demos some incredibly badass feats of balancing and flexibility. I couldn’t stop staring and thinking, I want to be just like her.
And, last week, Clare passed along a video (that YouTube thinks you need to be 18 to see, so watch at your own discretion). I watched, glued to the screen, adding a pole dancer to my list of girl crushes. (Keep watching in to about 1:20 for it to get good).
How’s that for strong? And muscular. And gorgeous. I am in love. In a totally non-sexual way, of course.
But I do kind of… sort of… want to be just like her.
Wishing I was even more hard core,